Occasions
What the groom should wear: a short, practical guide
You will be photographed more in three days than in the previous three years. It is worth thinking about for ten minutes.
Zayr Studio3 min read
Updated
Grooms in Pakistan get a great deal of attention about the sherwani and almost none about anything else, which is odd, because the outfit is usually rented or made once and the small decisions are the ones visible in every photograph for the rest of your life.
This is short on purpose. There are about five decisions and none of them are difficult.
Function by function
| Event | What you wear | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Mehndi | One ring, maybe a bracelet | Informal, and you will be pulled around all evening |
| Nikah | The ring, and nothing else | The ceremony has one piece of jewellery in it. Let it be that one |
| Barat | Ring, and one piece with the sherwani | A brooch or a kalgi is outfit, not jewellery. Do not add a chain |
| Walima | Ring, watch, optionally a chain | The most western-formal of the events. A suit changes the rules |
The pattern: less than you think, and the ring is doing the work. A sherwani has a closed collar, so a chain has nowhere to sit and will not be seen even if you wear one.
The ring, which is the actual decision
Three things go wrong with grooms' rings, in order of frequency.
- Wrong size, discovered on the day. Fingers swell in heat, and a nikah in June in a sherwani is heat. Measure in the evening in warm weather, and if you are between sizes take the larger. A ring that will not go on during the ceremony is a story your family will tell for thirty years.
- Wrong width for a first ring. If you have never worn a ring, a 6 mm band feels enormous for the first month. Comfort-fit interiors help a great deal here — the domed inside is genuinely more comfortable and worth asking for.
- Bought two days before. Rings are the one category where an exchange is likely, and an exchange needs a week. Order a month out.
What works with a sherwani
- Whatever is already part of the outfit — buttons, a kalgi, a brooch on the turban — counts as your metal. Match your ring and watch to it. Gold buttons with a steel watch is the single most common groom clash.
- No chain. The collar closes. It will not be visible and it will feel tight all evening.
- A watch is optional and reads as slightly more western. On a barat it is fine; some prefer none at all with a full sherwani and that is a legitimate choice.
- A pocket square and a shawl are doing the decorative work. Adding jewellery on top of them is where it tips over.
What works with a suit at the walima
A walima in a suit is the one function where the western rules apply, and they are simple: the ring, a watch, and optionally a thin chain under the shirt. Cufflinks if the shirt takes them, matched to the watch tone.
Do not wear a visible chain over a shirt and tie. It reads as a different decade in photographs and there is no version of it that ages well.
Small practical things worth doing
- Wear the ring for a week before the wedding. Get used to it, and find out if it is tight before it matters.
- Have someone specific hold the ring at the nikah. Not "someone will have it".
- Take the fitness tracker off. It is in every photograph and it belongs to a different outfit entirely.
- Check your watch is not scratched. A close-up of your hand on hers is one of the shots that always gets taken.
- Order everything a month out. There is no version of wedding shopping that gets easier in the final week.
Every groom who over-accessorised knew it the moment he saw the photographs. Nobody has ever looked back and wished they had worn one more thing.
Common questions
What jewellery should a groom wear in Pakistan?
The ring, and very little else. At a nikah, only the ring. With a sherwani at the barat, the ring and whatever metalwork is part of the outfit — a chain has nowhere to sit under a closed collar. A watch is optional and reads slightly more western.
Can a groom wear a chain with a sherwani?
There is no reason to. A sherwani closes at the throat, so a chain will not be visible at any point in the evening and will feel tight for several hours. If you want a chain, the walima with a suit is the function where it can actually be seen.
What metal should a groom's ring be?
Silver, stainless steel or a platinum-toned metal are the traditional and most common choices here, since gold is widely held to be impermissible for men in Islam. Whichever you choose, match it to any metalwork in the outfit — gold buttons with a steel watch is the most common clash.
When should a groom order his ring?
A month before the wedding. Rings are the category most likely to need a size exchange, and an exchange needs a week of slack. Wear the ring for a few days beforehand too — a band that fits in a shop can feel tight after six hours in a sherwani in summer.
Ready when you are
Cash on delivery nationwide, exchanges on sizing.